Jay Leno worthy

Unwelcome visitors

Most stories in the newspaper started from a really lively meeting in some Boardroom. I imagine that this one started from a presentation by the local cemetery supt. to the city council for a annual budget item for 50 car washing wands and a capital expenditure request for a $22,ooo four wheeler with a 200 gallon water tank. "We need this so we can wash the goose shit off the tombstones."

Cemetery Wants to Deter Geese Des Moines, Iowa – The city has tried everything from grape juice to dogs to try to drive away the massive goose
population at Glendale Cemetery. Sprayed on the grass, the juice is supposed to make the grass taste bad to waterfowl. But when that didn’t work, the city decided to seek other methods to control the 700 to 2,000 geese, which they
consider a health threat and nuisance. The geese soil grave markers and expanses of lawn and their water can spread disease. The Iowa Department of Natural Resources has advocated releasing a dog to chase the geese. Crews may
also spray a commercial product, and they may spread products made of feces and urine from goose predators, something that alerts the geese to choose a new pond. The city planned a two-week, $1,500 goose-harassment campaign; when the geese return in the spring, the parks department will spend another $750 to discourage the geese from nesting in the cemetery. Once geese nest in an area, they usually come back every year. The city does not plan to trap and move the birds, or to kill any.

GESUNDHEIT

Burying "bits"

I learned today, while going through old cemetery records in a small Iowa town, that you can bury yourself a piece at a time. I ran across at least three individual plots today that had been sold in the 50's to people who buried an amputated body part in the plot. It doesn't ssy that the rest of the body was buried there. The Name of the interred is "amputated foot" of (insert name). Creepy.

Let's say that someone buried an amputated body part in the garden back in the 1800's. Today when they are excavating to build a high rise in that spot, they will go crazy after they find just the foot bones.
Backhoe Operator: "Hey, I got a foot here, Charlie......."
Charlie: "Well, let's call in the archaeologists so they can perform a comprehensive dig in this location to find the rest of the civilization."

What a mess that would be. I guess those folks in the 1950's were pretty smart to put the parts in a cemetery instead of the garden. Who knew?

This sums it up

While visiting Linwood cemetery in Dubuque, Iowa, last month, I saw a monument that perfectly sums up the respect that cemeteries deserve. I hope you agree.

And this second monument is one of the more disturbing ones I've seen. Something looks pretty sinister about that visitor to the grave, don't you think?

Minister of Magic spotted at Springdale

This cemetery is huge - 120+ acres. If a person were going to be scared in a cemetery after dark, this would certainly be the one.

Flooding the grave

When a grave is opened, the earth becomes loosed from its normally compressed state so that when the earth is replaced on top of and around the vault, it needs to be compacted to prevent uneven settling. To assist in this recompression process, the grave is flooded with water. This makes the dirt settle better around the vault. It freaked me out until I learned that the vaults are sealed air (and water) tight. It just sounds creepy.